I Opened My Heart, it's All Over This Page.

Finding Stillness through Fear.


Sitting in this almost-balmy weather

My feet rebelling

And sporting cozy slippers anyway.

I sip my coconut lemongrass green tea

And I sit.

And I sip.

And I listen.

And I sip some more.

Not gonna worry about when (if) the laundry gets done.

When (if) I’ll mop the floors.

When (if) I finish my work.

Yes, of course I’ll still worry.

But for right now, just for right now,

I need this peace.

This restful place.

The truth is

I need my worry

I love it

I buy it dinner

And take it out for drinks

I cling onto it like fucking crazy

Because when life feels so lovely, so luscious, so calm,

When the day tastes as beautifully complex as my tea,

I get scared of this goodness.

I tremble.

Do I deserve it?

I can’t let myself feel it fully.

But, fuck, I need this goodness.

So bad.

So, I sip some more, sit some more.

I close my eyes and breathe it all in

Even my fear.

Yes, especially my fear.

I bow to the panic

I patiently, ever-so gently

Unfold it yard by yard.

With a smile on my face, my eyes look straight ahead.

And I sit.

And I sip.

And now

Only now,

I am still.

Photo: Flickr

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This entry was posted on November 5, 2014 by in Poetry, Spirituality, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , .
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