I Opened My Heart, it's All Over This Page.
Scene: Sometime after midnight. Fear is gallivanting up the street, outfitted entirely in black, an ominous puff of smoke trailing behind him. He’s slinking and swaying with a perverse smile on his face. His breath smells of cheap whisky and even cheaper cigarettes. He doesn’t yet know we’ve spotted him.
Oh wait, of course he does.
He’s got his penetrating eyes on locked on us, at all times, a GPS we’d rather live without.
He’s lurking just around the corner, luring us with insecurity and doom flavored candies.
He’s hiding in the kitchen, ready to pepper our dinner plates with panicked heart beats and sweaty palms.
He’s trailing us to parties, excitedly topping off our cups with self-consciousness, rather than champagne.
Fear is this evil, creepy thing that just longs to pounce on us and kick us while we’re down?
And, I hate to spoil the big reveal this early, but:
I’m the fear. You’re the fear. We’re all the fear.
There’s no devious thing after us.
We’re after us.
We’re the ones with the perverse smiles and jet black clothes, always ready to taunt ourselves.
We’re the ones filling our warm tea cups with worry and apprehension.
But, we need not stay there, stuck, forever frozen, waiting for fear to pounce.
If we’re the fear, then we have the power.
And, we could try something new.
I’ll give you a hint:
It’s not love. It’s not faux happiness or fabricated joy. It’s not hope. It’s not ambition.
It’s not anything we’re familiar with.
It’s something even more tingly and soul-shatteringly profound than we can imagine:
It’s that little, but boldly encouraging voice that keeps us moving forward, day after day, despite the fear and misery and pain and stress and difficulty.
It’s that swelling inner song, telling us “don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop,” despite the ever-looming cloud of failure or uncertainty or shame.
It’s that spark deep inside that we can’t deny or argue away, the one that reminds us of our depth and strength and possibility.
It’s that fierce whisper in our ear, reminding us that failure doesn’t matter because failure isn’t real.
It’s that resilient and stubborn streak, forcing us not to give a f*ck because we’re worthy just as we are and we need not try so hard.
It’s that abundance of creativity and bountiful inspiration in our hearts, reminding us that the world is not just a world, but a piece of raw, living, breathing art.
It’s that moment where our hearts instinctually grow arms, happily reaching out to nurture, soothe and care ferociously for another.
Damn… it’s so subtle, but it’s our greatest ally.
It’s our power, our essence, our spirit, our life force.
And, if we could listen deeply to the slight tugging on our souls, we might see that the key to building better, more beautiful lives exists in this sparkly, silent and brilliantly vibrant space within us.
So, step aside fear, there’s a new fellow (or lady!) in town.
And, this one’s here to stay.
It’s deep, deep, deep inside.
So, let’s dig in and listen hard.
Photo: Paul Townsend on Flickr